So much for...
going to bed at eleven. I think it's impossible to go to bed any earlier than one or two here.
It's been a strange day. The weather's cold and gray and wet and it hasn't done much to fix my mood. I've been feeling pretty gray myself recently. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't talked to anybody all day, but everything that's been on my mind has sort of hit me hard today. And trust me, there's been a lot of shit on my mind.
The prospect of having to select a major is looming. Every time I think about it, I just get more stressed out. I am so undecided right now it's pathetic. That and the fact that my classes are starting to get frustrating (I still love my Music 5 though, Professor Hopkins ROCKS MY STOCKINGS). Even still, the end of semester just seems to be dragging on and on. I love Penn State, but I can't wait until I get exams over and done with so I can just go home.
12 days to go. I know I told myself that I could never miss home, but it really seems impossible not to. Everything that I'm familiar with is there. I'm so glad that I'm going. I want to see my family so bad. I really miss my little sisters. I want to sleep in my own bed in the silence of my own peaceful room without the constant presence of someone around. I want to not have to worry about doing the laundry.
It's funny how we work so hard to get to where we want to be without considering what we'll be leaving behind. Don't get me wrong. I'm completely glad that I made the decision to come here. It's just little things that get to me sometimes. I think the hardest part is missing that love and caring that I'm surrounded with at home. At home, my family and friends are constantly there to support me and shower me with their unconditional love (and trust me, I do a great job at basking in it). In college, it's just hard to find someone who really cares.
But hey, this blog wasn't created for the sole purpose of my bitching and moaning (at least not completely). I think I just needed to get everything out on my first post. It's all been cumulating in my mind for a while now and it's been a tough day. I'll try to keep it light and short when I can.
For now, I need sleep.
To bed.
It's been a strange day. The weather's cold and gray and wet and it hasn't done much to fix my mood. I've been feeling pretty gray myself recently. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't talked to anybody all day, but everything that's been on my mind has sort of hit me hard today. And trust me, there's been a lot of shit on my mind.
The prospect of having to select a major is looming. Every time I think about it, I just get more stressed out. I am so undecided right now it's pathetic. That and the fact that my classes are starting to get frustrating (I still love my Music 5 though, Professor Hopkins ROCKS MY STOCKINGS). Even still, the end of semester just seems to be dragging on and on. I love Penn State, but I can't wait until I get exams over and done with so I can just go home.
12 days to go. I know I told myself that I could never miss home, but it really seems impossible not to. Everything that I'm familiar with is there. I'm so glad that I'm going. I want to see my family so bad. I really miss my little sisters. I want to sleep in my own bed in the silence of my own peaceful room without the constant presence of someone around. I want to not have to worry about doing the laundry.
It's funny how we work so hard to get to where we want to be without considering what we'll be leaving behind. Don't get me wrong. I'm completely glad that I made the decision to come here. It's just little things that get to me sometimes. I think the hardest part is missing that love and caring that I'm surrounded with at home. At home, my family and friends are constantly there to support me and shower me with their unconditional love (and trust me, I do a great job at basking in it). In college, it's just hard to find someone who really cares.
But hey, this blog wasn't created for the sole purpose of my bitching and moaning (at least not completely). I think I just needed to get everything out on my first post. It's all been cumulating in my mind for a while now and it's been a tough day. I'll try to keep it light and short when I can.
For now, I need sleep.
To bed.
posted by Enna at
12:21 AM
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