Stutter something profound

Ok, I'm incredibly sleepy so I'll try to make this short.

Last night the stupid moronic fire alarm would not shut the fuck up. My new place is actually equipped with an extra shiny fire alarm that flashes blinding white light sort of like a police siren whenever it's activated. It went off at about 1:30AM and practically gave me a brain aneurysm. Funny thing that I'd basically just spent the entire day reminiscing about freaking 9/11, I woke up thinking we'd been hit by an atom bomb or something. So I stumbled out of bed, tripped on my laptop cable and almost knocked myself out cold. Yeah, I am definitely your number one person to turn to in a state of crisis.

So, I realized it was just the stupid fucking fire alarm and trudged to my closet, taking a few minutes to contemplate the one item of clothing I wanted to keep the most in case the building really was about to go up in flames. I gave up and didn't take anything, walking out my front door to find my neighbors congregated in the hallway, where the alarm was even fucking louder.

"There isn't really a fire is there?" I yelled to some girl over the noise.

"Um, I hope not!" she yelled back.

I figured that was about as good enough an answer as any so I went back into my apartment and laid on my futon until the stupid fucking alarm turned off. Which it didn't fully, by the way, until about 2:30.

Of course, since fate seems to hate me, it went off again at 5 AM.