Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

I haven't posted in a few days mainly because I've been lazy.

I haven't been doing much really, just sitting back and trying to enjoy the whimsical nothingness of summer vacation when I'm not training or doing work for my dad's office or website or whatnot.

The World Cup started last night which is really exciting. I like soccer... and soccer boys of course! Spain and Germany FTW please!

So, on Thursday I went to the Kinesiologist upon my mother's recommendation. She said that she'd help me become more grounded and I think(?) she did.(?) She did all these fascinating tests and then told me that I only thought with one side of my brain at a time and that I needed to learn how to merge both sides because that would help me a lot. Um... yeah. So she gave me some exercises and then apparently I began to think with both sides. She told me to continue the exercises throughout my daily life. She also told me that I seemed to have a problem with acknowledging a final goal, that I focus too much on the getting there than on the actual destination. Other than those, she said I was healthy physically and otherwise but that I just had difficulty with the concept of personal growth. Hmm.

Overall it was refreshing and interesting and I think I did get a lot accomplished just by talking everything out. Thanks Mom! I don't know if I've made my final decision yet on the decision, but I feel like I'm close.

Later, I went out with a friend and we saw She's The Man. The movie was a little lame but really funny. At least it got me out of the weird funk I was in.

Until next time!

Love of the loveless...

Today we had some friends (Joel and his wife and kids) over for dinner. I made lasagna!

Okay, I oversaw the making of the lasagna.

My mother did the menial work.

It was nice seeing Joel, I haven't socialized in a while and it was just fun to sit back and enjoy being in the company of good people.

Jeez, aren't I beginning to sound like a sixty year old?

Anyway, onward to my spiel of the day.

These days I find myself getting kind of sick of people I know who are "in love". They parade it around like they've found the last prime number and act like it's the end of the world. I'm not annoyed because I'm bitter (which I'm not, I'm really not), I'm annoyed because I don't really believe it's genuine. I think it's nearly impossible for a person my age to honest to god love another person. Last I heard, that takes time and effort and living with the person and learning all of his/her bad habits and imperfections. It's not exactly all molasses and taffy.

Also, I'm starting to get the idea that a lot of the people I know are letting themselves fall into the belief that they're in love because they either 1) like the idea of being in love or 2) doubt they're capable of being loved and now that they've found it, are terrified to let it go.

Another thing, internet romance? Don't even go there.

Feel free to disagree. I don't know much about anything, really.

How To Save A Life.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." ~Frank Herbert

When I was about six years old, my parents took me and my younger sister on a week-long roadtrip to the Carolinas. We saw family and visited Native American reservations and hiked and barbecued and the whole nine yards. At around the end of the trip we went to a Six Flags theme park.

All in all it was really fun. I rode all the kiddy rides twice or three times with my sister and ate enough corn dogs and cotton candy to last me a lifetime. After I had exhausted my food supplies, my mother asked me if I wanted to go on one of the bigger coasters before we left. I, being the naive and unsuspecting child that I was, agreed.

I never really considered how fast the thing would be. Or that it looped upside down (scaaary). The teen working at the ride checked my height and strapped me in and everything and then we were off.

Pretty much all I could see once the ride started was sky and ground and sky and ground. This, in addition to the speed and the shaking and the wind rushing in my ears, terrorized me. That and of course the fact that the straps of my seat barely held my skinny butt in and so my mother was scared out of her mind trying to shove me further into the seat with her arm.

Honest to god, my mother was screaming at the top of her lungs: "MY DAUGHTER'S GOING TO FALL OUT OF HER SEAT. OH MY GOD, SHE'S GOING TO DIE. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!"

I truly believed then that I was going to drop off of the ride that instant and die a very bloody, painful death.

Before I knew it though, the ride was over and I was fine. I hadn't fallen out, hadn't gotten hurt, hadn't freaking died. *glares at mother*

I was, however, stricken and from that moment onward I avoided setting foot on any roller coaster that went faster than 10 miles an hour or rose higher than a story.

Last summer, though, while visiting my aunt in California, we all went to Knott's Berry Farm at Buena Park. Usually when I go to theme parks, I have someone to sit with until all the thrill-seekers are done playing on the giant coasters. This time though, there wasn't really anybody to sit with me and after considering my options, I decided that I really did not want to sit around in the hot burning sun all day while everyone but me was enjoying themselves.

I really was sick of being that person who had the stick up their butt because of one stupid incident that happened eons ago. I wanted to just take the plunge, figuratively and otherwise. So I did.

I rode the inverted coaster. Then I went on the wooden coaster, and the boomerang, and pretty much every other ride I'd previously deemed "too scary". And you know what? It wasn't that bad. I didn't fall out or get hurt or die. I really enjoyed myself.

Right now, I feel like my life is a Six Flags and I need to get over myself and just jump on the big-kid rides.

I know, I make no sense. *sigh* At least I got an entry out today! Until next time.

John Krasinski is love.

I'm sleepy and my sister is bugging me so don't worry, no megapost tonight.

I didn't do much at all today. I had a driving lesson at 9AM, which is like... dawn. I was pretty sleepy so I wasn't paying much attention. My trainer kept yelling at me.. that was nice. I got back and got started on Andi's headers.

...(Deleted)...

We got back and I continued finishing up the headers and that was it for today. Now that that's down I'm heading to bed! Here's today's inspirational message:

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over gain, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.

~ Anne Sullivan